What women want in a man – Men it has never been about size

 Read this article and you will be wiser on what women want in a man, it is quite simple and it is not about size, it has never been about size. Men have this notion and are anxious about their size because they think that is what women want in a man,  but, men, it has never been about size.

online relationship advice
If you are new in a relationship, all the better for the advice before the relationship  goes wrong. If your relationship is old then here is some online relationship advice to keep it strong.
I don’t think it matters at what point we get advice in our relationships. We are always challenged when it comes to closely relating and living with another person. So tips and nuggets go a long way.

What does a woman want badly in a man?

What is the single thing that will make her apologize or do anything just to keep that man? I can assure you it’s not about his size. Surprised?

  • This is a BIG one. She wants a man who delivers.  A man who says I will do this and he makes it happen.
  • This is the single thing that will make a woman adore a man.

She wants a conqueror even with as little a thing as keeping a promise for a phone call. When he breaks his promise she will go off him no matter what his size is or the size of his bank account.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Many men fail on this one because they don’t realize what it means to a woman. Men are anxious about their size but that anxiety is really for nothing. It’s really NOT what really matters to a woman.  Read this full article and you will walk away enlightened.


 He can create his own size

A man can create his own manhood size in the woman’s eyes, totally different from what he has been led to believe.  Creation is never unfair, if his physical size were the most important thing, then there would have been justice in size for all men.  Someone, some human somewhere came up with the idea that it must be about his size but this is not the case and it is time to dispel that myth.

Here is what I know ; For the presence of one thing in a man, a woman will never worry about his size.
This is something women never say,  just like men don’t ask for it upfront. Women instinctively know it but somehow never talk about it. It only comes up when they are upset, but they actually don’t realize the full meaning of it. On broaching the subject, they suddenly have a cognition that, that is the most important thing that they desire in a man. 
A woman instinctively expects two things from a man
  • to feel secure  ( This we all know)
  • that he makes things happen. (This is the hidden mystery and the key. Read on and you will understand why)
A man is created with more physical strength than a woman.  She knows and admires this because she feels his protective power. However, the complex part is that she feels that, that strength extends to his ability to make things happen.  She perceives his strength as reaching beyond the physical.
A man does not have physical power alone, he comes with a strong urge to solve problems. He is practical.
The natural human set up of men and women comes with its own challenges for couples who do not understand it or those who try to change it. Believe me, maybe 95% of couples try to change the natural setup. Sometimes out of ignorance and at times out of sheer selfishness from one partner. 
There are primal urges set up in the body. It’s not something a man or woman is aware of on a conscious level. It’s just an urge. The man has a primal urge to copulate.  And yet how many times are men chastised by women for this. “All he wants is da da da da!!!”, she says. This is an attempt to change what naturally is. The man has that primal urge and there is nothing he can do about it. He just feels it whether he chooses to or not.

What about the woman?

The woman too, has a basic urge towards a man. Unfortunately no one has ever looked at the woman’s primal urge towards a man. It’s not even focused on as much as men’s urge for copulation and it is here that the imbalance is created. Not imbalance as an unfair practice but imbalance as going against nature. This is why he will never really have what he desires nor she, the kind of man she wants in her life.
Her primal urge is for him to conquer,  this sounds like a tall order I know, but wait till you hear the rest. It’s not that bad. The woman wants the man to conquer even in the smallest thing as making a phone call.
To him making a call is nothing but to her it’s everything, as you shall soon see.
When he does not conquer one of two things may happen. Either she pushes him, which will probably come across as demanding or too much expectation to the man or she keeps quiet and just as quietly goes off him.
When she is pushing, although it’s viewed negatively, especially by men, actually, it’s a natural code in her to fight for the survival of the relationship. This is why women are notorious nags to men.
Her urge to push for things to happen is similar to the man’s urge to copulate.
Because of these primal urges in both men and women, they create a sense of entitlement both ways. It may not be voiced but this sense of entitlement is nevertheless present.

The natural design that is meant to keep couples together


The man feels entitled to copulate with the woman in his life and the woman feels entitled to have the man in her life make things happen. When this need is met for each, it is actually a design that is meant to naturally create a strong bond for the couple, the glue that makes each want to come back again and again to reach for the other.

No one really sees it this way. Instead he says she is a nag and she says all he wants is to take her to bed. They don’t realize they are complaining about the glue that potentially keeps them together.

In the animal kingdom, a female will only mate with the alpha male. This is the same in the human kingdom, although the qualification of an alpha human male is slightly different. A man becomes an alpha male in his woman’s life on his own merit. This is the fairness of the whole cycle. He is not competing against anyone but himself. It doesn’t have anything to do with his size or that of his bank balance!
If a man, lets a woman down, be it a promise to meet her or to call her, or to repair something around the house or to organize for the repairs to be done by somebody else, when he fails to make these little things happen, she perceives him as a man with a lack of an ability to make things happen and thus she loses the alpha male vision of him and she soon looses the urge to copulate with him. This happens on a very subtle level. The man registers in her subconscious as less alpha, unreliable and therefore cannot mate with her, she naturally goes off him.

The other side of the coin

Here is the other side of this coin… another marked difference between men and women. When a woman says no to his advances, a man feels rejected. When she says no many times he will wither and slowly die inside. To a man it’s rejection and it creates a disconnection between them. Because a woman doesn’t view copulation the same way, she is not naturally set up the same way, when she is saying no to him, she has no idea that it’s rejection to him. She just thinks the man will understand that she doesn’t want to and can wait and to her, life goes on. She is totally oblivious to the fact that this is rejection.
Too much tiredness and headache excuses and the man soon curls into a ball and sleeps facing the other way. He feels completely rejected and cold inside.  Meanwhile the woman saying no to her husband’s advances will be shocked if he cheats on her! Lol! She doesn’t get it. funny isn’t it! STUPID the man may think. Yet no! It’s not in her make up and so she doesn’t understand it the same way!
When a man does not keep his promises, besides the fact that he comes across as a man who can’t make things happen, the woman feels rejected. It is also a point of disconnection. It carries the same weight as how a man feels when his advances are rejected by the woman in his life.
When he says he will call and he doesn’t, she feels rejected. The more he says he will do something and doesn’t, she is withering, slowly dying inside. Each let down is a nail on the coffin of her ever saying yes to his advances and the rejection is compounded each time. It’s a cumulative effect.
At some point her attraction towards him dies completely, no matter what his size or bank balance is. A man does not connect these dots too. To him a missed phone call is just a little or single missed phone call. He just hopes the woman will understand and get over it and get on with life.
He lets a woman down today, begrudgingly says “I’M SORRY!”, begrudgingly because he doesn’t get it and doesn’t understand why she is so upset about seemingly little things and then he expects her to accept his advances and he wonders why she comes up with tiredness and headache excuses.
She just can’t. She is feeling rejected but he doesn’t know. 
When someone is feeling rejected… their feelings towards the other die, be this a man or a woman. The love may still be there but that other attraction vanishes. Rejection is hard for anyone. It’s just that I think men are not aware in what way they are rejecting their woman and women are not aware when they are rejecting their man.
So when a man runs around trying to fulfill his promises to his wife, often it’s out of fear that she will get angry and so it is a burden to him to keep time for phone calls or promises made. This is the same for the woman, many have to bite their lips to perform the conjugal rite because they can’t keep saying no. And so fulfilling that duty becomes a heavy chore.

The twigs she throws at him

This reminds me of the story of the female eagle flying with her suitor and throwing twigs for him to catch as a test. A human male goes through the same test to catch the twigs. Those let downs, no matter how small, to the women, are the makings of failing to catch the twigs. He registers as unreliable and so she cannot build a nest with him. This directly connects to her attraction towards him, it is so linked that her attraction towards him vanishes, it sort of feels automatically, totally erased. She has no control over it, it just happens. She just goes off him. This is where the “don’t touch me!” comes from.

The anxiety

When a woman loves a man, she continually holds an anxiety about him and a fear that he might not catch the twigs, not because it’s a test but because she has this deep desire for him to win, to conquer.
Deep down she knows that he will sometimes fail and she is afraid that when he fails she will go off him. She teaches herself to forgive him many times and keeps trying to rebuild the emotions within herself.
This is a heavy cycle that she wishes never to begin and for that reason she nags and pushes so that it doesn’t happen. This is why she is filled with anxiety at an indication that he might fail. So she pushes.
To a man she is a nag and he feels pushed but it is a natural mechanism to keep her attraction to him intact, he doesn’t realize this and so he fights her natural condition and continues to ignore her pleas and she in-turn feels let down.
She is not disappointed with natural failure as such. She is disappointed in those things he promises and never fulfills, she is also disappointed in him if he gets to a place and gives other people attention first before he makes an effort to get to her.
The twigs are not things that he can’t do. Usually it’s normal everyday things that he can easily do something about. It’s just that he doesn’t know what is really going on.

She wants his special attention

Paying attention to other people before paying attention to her is rejection. Most women will not talk about it because it’s viewed by him and by society as being needy or demanding, just like men will not directly ask for copulation as this is viewed as being demanding, but deep down this is exactly what is going on.
Because the true context of what is really going on in each’s heart is not expressed, men and women continue to hurt and reject each other without realizing it and so they silently kill their relationship.
What they need from each other is not really hard to give, just not explained and therefore misunderstood.
A woman will give anything for the man who makes things happen, that man who keeps his word even for the little things. This is the true size of a man to a woman. This is what measures the length of his manhood to her. This is what makes an alpha male to any woman and she will forever give him what he asks. Anything else comes second in this case. Even if he has the smallest organ a woman will not let this bother her. It is not the most important thing.  

 The qualification of what’s required, every man can fulfill.

This is not coming from standards but rather from a primal urge. This is why women come across as pushy. It is an urge like an erection is for a man. It’s an urge to push him to deliver because the natural code in place knows it is what will keep them together. She cares so much and gets angry at him for breaking his promise leading to destroying her attraction towards him. The anger is about fear of losing her attraction for him and a possible break up and not about standards or enjoying being a nag. I don’t know if this is making any sense. I hope it is.

If a man could realize what keeping a promise means to a woman then he will stop seeing it as he is being controlled by the woman or seeing it as a burden. In the same way, if a woman considers the importance of his advances to her, then receiving or accepting that which is important to him becomes a joy.
If men and women understand what means what to the other, keeping the basics intact and giving to each other becomes a joy actually and not a chore.

What can he do to help her when he can’t keep his word

When a man realizes he can’t keep his promise, for whatever reason, it is better to tell her and explain why. That way she won’t feel rejected. If he just says I’m sorry without an explanation she will still feel rejected. When a woman asks a man “Why” he feels like she is demanding and controlling but she is actually trying to solve her problem of rejection. She wants to know that he really didn’t reject her but had this and that to take care of.
This whole thing works if the man understands why he has to keep his word and make things happen or explain why he couldn’t when he can’t, in turn the woman’s feelings for him are heightened and her attraction towards him increases for she then perceives him as caring and considerate.
If they were in a group and he got there late she will expect him to find her first, know she is okay before he socializes with everybody else, any other way registers as rejection. This is true for every woman. It’s just not said. For the  man who does this becomes her prince and she will give him the royal reception in her life.
When he gets home, even without an audience, finding her first, if she is not waiting to greet him at the door, is what registers as not rejection.
This is not implying that a man should be at her beck and call. It’s not even the big insurmountable things. Just fulfilling those promises made and giving her appropriate attention.  Any other way and everything just dies down slowly and permanently eventually.

When a woman is not giving a push in an unhappy situation… she is busy losing interest.  It is the same with a man I guess. When he is not giving a push for copulation, when he is not getting any, he is busy losing interest too. It’s probably not how most people want to look at it because they think being quiet and pretending things are okay is the best way. It is not.  

Too many let downs with explanations won’t make the mark either. He cannot become an alpha male in her eyes by talking his way out of situations all the time either.  When she asks for help he should not be wishy washy with his response. If he can’t help let him say it clearly to her so that she understands. That makes her respect him, than giving a feeble yes that he never fulfills. This is really not about a man who can do everything, it’s about the decisive man who keeps his word against all odds once he has given his word.
This is the true size of his manhood to her.

2 thoughts on “What women want in a man – Men it has never been about size

  1. Hi Danielle, you are SO RIGHT. Thank you for telling it exactly as it is. It’s never been about size for us ladies. A man who stands by his word, takes responsibility, takes charge. A man who is dependable and makes us feel totally safe in his presence. This is exactly why I love my husband so much.
    You have hit the nail on the head (no pun intended). These qualities are way more important to us. I hope men read this post and take it in, really take it in. You are offering the keys to the kingdom here.

    • Thank you Lauren. I am going to try my best to share this as much as possible on social media. I really think it’s information we all need so that we can keep our relationships intact. Couples disappoint each other without realizing it and I think it’s really sad. Thank you for passing by and taking the time.

Leave a Comment