Spot the true love test, it’s much much more than meets the eye.
Most men find women complex. They think women are irrational and this is a major, major cause of relationship break ups. Actually, unbeknownst to most, this is where the majority of relationship break ups begin.
I have come to know that there is a reason for that seeming irrationality and that there is something that men can do about it . It is actually part of the process of choosing a partner and a great gift to help to create a nurturing space for both the couple and their offspring. This is the true love test.
When a couple sees the change through the correct sequence of their relationship unfolding, it does something to them. It changes them in a priceless way that I haven’t found how to put into words. I am going to explain it using a real dialogue between a couple who found a solution to this challenge.
How did he feel about her change? She wanted to know because she felt it was important. She thought her change revealed a profound and hidden mystery to what people think is a problem, regarding how irrational women seem to be. She was right – as I later discovered! She was watching it all through her relationship’s unfolding and wanted to see and know if he felt it too.
His response did not disappoint and here is the unfolding mystery for you to behold too. It will become a most important factor in your ability to thrive in a relationship.
For years I have often wondered why the Bible teaches that “husbands love your wives.” It struck me as odd. I thought it was a contradiction. Women are always on about love much more than men and that made me think the suggestion should be “Women love your husbands” because naturally women are about love. So why did the Bible put it the other way around? I guess this is what is called thinking outside the box. God does think outside the box for sure.
In our human world, women are always advised to love their husbands in the exact same way the bible advises husbands to do instead. Time for some observation. My mother and aunties taught me that it is my responsibility to love a husband and children. I also know that most people in the world have this view. Who is right? My mum or The Almighty? Hierarchy says the answer is, The Almighty.” But we always have niggling doubts till we have concrete evidence is it not?
And so the Bible says husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands. A really tough one in most relationships as we never really have proper instructions on how to achieve this and must learn on the job as it were. We actually never work it out even then.
What is the purpose of a woman’s seeming irrationality? It seems so common, almost experienced by every woman, we all hear the comment, “women are irrational”. We can also come to the conclusion that it comes as a natural part of a woman, because if it weren’t we wouldn’t have it so common. That means there is a reason why Nature put it in place. I am sure that all relationships will tremendously benefit from a true understanding of the ‘why’ and so I beg you, please do pay attention.
I am going to add the full Bible instruction to men here so we all have a true concept of what it says. I do realize that I have used the Bible and I am aware that some of you may not like the idea of being instructed from a bible because your belief system is different. On a more subtle level this is really not about the Bible because as you shall see, this will correspond with what happens with humanity in general regardless of religious beliefs. It even happens to the birds. Therefore even though I am using the Bible I am inclined to think that this is about a universal law of relationships. Take this tip and watch your own relationship soar.
Here is what the bible teaches:-
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the
washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself
as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,
but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love
their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care
for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members
of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ
and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as
he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
A woman describes her wrestle with the seeming unreasonableness that goes on in her and how, as a couple, their eyes were opened to the mystery. Note that Ephesians 32 above says “This is a profound mystery”. So bear this in mind as you read on. Let us unravel this mystery…
Here is what she says:-
It has always been a conflict in my mind and I have always wondered why it has been so difficult to just love a man. I know I love him but I wrestle with so many questions, evaluations and ideas that come to mind and always seem stronger than just loving him in a simple straightforward way. He wants me to stop being irrational! What is rationally loving him? Is it to have one focused thought directed at him?
Ask any man and he will tell you how hard it is to keep up with what goes on in a woman’s mind, but to her, and in her mind everything follows a certain logic. It is just that it is so hard, such a challenge, to simply love a man without those many other thoughts occurring at the same time. Irrational?
What we call irrationality is just a fact of creation for a reason. What is the reason?
Unraveling it is the hard part for humanity. Instead, a woman’s seeming irrationality is ridiculed and handled by trying to suppress it by both men and women. That suppression is an attempt that shuts down the priceless gift of a woman’s true love for her husband and children! Has anyone ever watched the movie, ‘the taming of the shrew?
“We have just unraveled that gift Sweets,” the lady excitedly tells her husband!
Here is a glimpse of how nature teaches this concept as demonstrated by a bird of prey:
How a bald eagle chooses a mate for life.
The actions of the female bald eagle may seem irrational to an observer.
“HOW THE FEMALE EAGLE CHOOSES HER MATE
(As told by the Wintu Tribal Elders of California)
When it comes time for the female Eagle to choose her mate, she prepares herself for many suitors. And many come before her. She looks them over quite well and then picks one to fly with for awhile.
If she likes the way he flies she finds a small stick, picks it up and flies high with it. At some point she will drop the stick to see if the male can catch it. If he does, then she finds a larger stick and flies with it much higher this time. Each time the male catches the sticks, she continues to pick up larger and larger sticks. When she finds the largest, heaviest stick that she herself can carry, the stick is at this point almost the size of a small log! But she can still fly very high with this large stick.
At any time in this process, if the male fails to catch the stick, she flies away from him as her signal that the test is now over. She begins her search all over again. And when she again finds a male she is interested in, she starts testing him in the exact same way. And she will continue this “testing” until she finds the male Eagle who can catch all the sticks. And when she does, she chooses him, and will mate with him for life.
One of the reasons for this test is that at some point they will build a nest together high up and will then have their eaglets. When the babies begin to learn to fly, they sometimes fall instead. It is then that the male must catch his young. And he does!” (this article was obtained from www.snowwowl.com)
The true love test
Like the eagle that must drop a twig over and over and over again, a couple’s gift to start on the right foot is through her seeming irrationality as will be evidenced by the story of the couple below.
Here is what she writes to her husband and here too you will find his response…
(The wife to the husband) Hi Sexy Sweets! xo xo
“I guess the man’s love must conquer and he will have a different or rather a new woman who really loves and adores him. Your very unassuming and patient loving ways tamed my womanly irrational side. This is what I have observed.”
(The husband to the wife) Hey delectable Bunny xo xo!
True, that is what has happened and it will take some time to work through it all, a very complex thing indeed. It happens on so many different levels, all at the same time. It is physical, sexual and spiritual all rolled into one. This is massive really, I think. Divulging The Secret, is only one part of it, a sort of one sided sexual part when in fact it is a two sided coin. Many men do not understand male sexuality let alone female sexuality. Many females do not understand their own sexuality let alone male sexuality.
When two partners connect on that level of giving and sharing energies then a bond and connection is created that leads each to grow, it is one aspect of the connection. Leading on from here there is a connection on a spiritual level where two become one. There is such a long lead in the process for this to occur, many do not get out of the first gear before they stall the car :)))))))))))))))))))))) then this leads to them separating.
When one partner understands the wisdom, they can lead the other. In your irrational moments you pushed but I did not take the bait, even when you pushed very hard, I still did not respond in that way. I am loving my wife, I understand your irrationality. In this mode you are pushing to find a partner that will be patient, give you love, protect you and create a nest with which you can feel comfortable and safe. The woman looks to the man to provide these qualities, in doing so she must push hard, sometimes for no apparent reason, like the eagle who must find a twig, only to drop it for the male eagle to catch, again and again.
She does not even understand it herself most of the time. She often wonders why she loses it most of the time. But it is just a gift from nature. Yes, I know that most people will not see it this way but her seeming irrationality is a priceless gift from nature to help us to attain an exquisite loving space within our relationship.
A woman has a real sequence of flow of thought that will make her irrationality understandable if she were to explain exactly her trend of thought at the time she is being called irrational. When a man is patient or encourages real dialogue, the conditions of trust are met and the woman will trust him with her emotions. Her love for him begins to unfold. She will also desire for that man to impregnate her. It is a dance where two souls come together to create that future state of true connection. The dance starts with the female’s seeming unreasonableness or irrationality.
He must exercise patience as he must learn to be patient with the children. A man’s voice and strength are great and his physical power greater and he needs to tame them when it comes to his wife and children, so that he can create and lead a family and a warm home. The woman’s seeming irrationality which truly is not, is what nature put in place as training for him. He must look at his wife’s irrationality with amusement and fondness. The same Bible instructs that fathers must not raise their children to anger… This is the training – right before any children appear on the scene.
In King James’ version, Ephesians 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
A man can only do this through cultivating patience well before the children arrive on the scene. The woman inherently holds the code of wisdom of carnate love and passes it to her partner as she tries him with all her seeming irrationality, she begins to respect him in time from his show of patience. The whole idea of her irrationality is to help him to learn to nurture as this is not prepacked within him, and yet this is a requirement for him as a father. She already has this side within her as she must nurture the pregnancy, the relationship as well as the children but this will only happen when he shows patience in his love for her. This is the reason why the bible has it as the commandment to him and not her. A slight disturbance to this balance in marriage and the children get it too. It is so precise.
Even though she is naturally nurturing this aspect of her must be unlocked through the man’s love and patience. And so it is extremely important that the man be patient and this leads to his own ability to nurture his wife who will in-turn adore him endlessly. When he is observing her irrationality he is actually looking at his door to her true loving nature. He has to unlock that door.
Their relationship will finally grow and flourish because they finally meet each other’s needs. Almost all couples don’t go past this door and so most men NEVER experience true love from a woman. They judge her seeming irrationality and never find the key to her heart. This means that most relationships NEVER really take off and couples usually just experience the mechanical side to love.
She wants love and he wants respect and the starting point is a look at and gentle handling of her seeming irrationality. This is where all couples should begin. He must lovingly accommodate her irrationality. It is not just all about sex, that is the kindergarten stuff. From here the couple will develop a strong spiritual relationship of which sex plays a part but the melding of their souls is far more potent. As he exercises patience, so does the process of melding occur.
When Christ spoke of his love for the church he was also speaking of the love for the woman from which all creation comes, this is symbolic, he gave up his freedom for the love of the soul connection, just like two partners who come together, give up their individuality to form one bond, first on that carnate level and then on the spiritual level. When we speak of the husband loving his wife it means that the man brings that understanding of his wife’s demeanor, her frailty, we are talking on a very inner level because there are many physically strong women out there. We are talking more on that inner hard wired level.
When wisdom is entered into, it changes everything on many different levels. Folks talk about reincarnation but yet only delve into the very top layers. When wisdom is obtained, one can remember and relate in many different ways and levels simultaneously. It is that saying that we are without thought or creation, knowledge comes with our soul, it is just a matter of remembering. So does a man always be a man or a woman always be a woman with the wisdom and knowledge that become clear and in doing so we can relate on many levels. The key in a relationship is her seeming irrationality.
Therefore, man love your wives and wives respect your husbands as I have loved you without request. l have loved the church without request, in doing so love becomes pure and undemanding yet in doing so it brings clarity of thought and strength.
The Wind and The Rush plant
When confronted with conflict or challenge as the wife becomes irrational, as I have loved you my dearest bunny, that challenge washed over us, it did not impact negatively, like the rush bending in the wind it returns to its natural position. Love as I have loved you and in-turn been loved and respected by you, I returned to that default position. Confrontation wants to break the rush but the rush only bends.
For you Sweets, are the wind that wants to break the rush yet it is not in the nature of the rush to break, it merely mirrors your endeavors and then returns to its natural position. Today we entered a place where you said that I could take you and do what I want with you. That in my patience I have created a warmth in you that will receive me always. In that moment you became the rush and I the wind. When that energy subsides I become the rush and once again you become the wind, each of us plays their part in stabilizing the other. There is nothing happening, at the end of the day we are one at harmonies door.
There will be unsteady days ahead but it is always a case of the wind and the rush. In our sexuality I am the wind and you are the rush. In our day to day life together you are the wind and I am the rush. But I notice that with my patience you have changed to become such an adorable sweet bunny Sweets. Like water you are finding your level; you are finding the ability to express your thoughts well and calmly, which is a far cry from that irrationality.
Irrationality is actually Not Irrationality
I have come to know that your seeming irrationality is actually not irrationality at all. A woman has a wider corpus callosum and that probably accounts for that much information whirling in her mind, but language cannot catch up with how much information is being communicated in thought and so at times one uttered statement represents many different thoughts making no sense to me. Only you understand the thoughts at the time. All I get is disjointed thoughts that do not make much sense to me, and to me it is just being irrational. From letting myself fully communicate with you, with a lot of patience, you have gone back and looked and explained things a bit more and from this I have come to understand how you roll and I love you delectable sweets, with all your irrationality. :))))
We are together, I bring you love, we created love, that purpose has created a union, my love helps you to pass that irrational energy to the void, we are creating something new, a connection of two souls in such a bond of love that a new energy is created almost like giving birth. It is the one beyond the feeling of sexuality, beyond even love, it has its own life and life force which grows on a daily basis. But to relinquish our seeming conflicts, which to me seem to come from your seeming irrationality I must always cultivate patience and gently love you through it all and in this I create a special place for me in you, to be received by you in the way I desire you and you accept my advances cooing like a dove. Darling, I love you.
In the beginning, I sat and waited, still you pushed, I let you lay in your angst and irrationality, then drew you back into the love that was always there and in doing so the husband that I am was loving his wife, giving her nourishment and nurturing, in doing so your desire to be impregnated by your husband was ignited and that means in my patience and unconditional giving, your subconscious, designed by nature, then knew and accepted me as your true partner. And as I have said before, we entered a place you said that I could take you and do what I wanted with you. In that moment you truly surrendered to our love. Thank you darling.
If folks understood this process, there would be so many new beginnings, relationship failure would be obsolete :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
This is a bit heavy I know, I am not really aware of what I am writing about baby, I am just writing, you probably think I have gone completely kookoo. My love for you will always be as it always was, my love is and will always be for all things.
I Am Become Anew!
The most rewarding gift of all in this is that my patience with you has created a new man within me…
Part of my manly urges is to take you and make you mine, to make you yield and surrender to me, to create in you a need that I can fill and sustain and part of me just wants to protect and nurture you so we can both grow together, just to hold you in that loving embrace.
I have awoken a dormant side in you, even that will be hard to get too good with. Love is such a strange creature baby. I just feel such a deep love for you honey, my desire is to feed and nurture that love, to cradle you and wrap you in its loving care. I realize that this may still be so new to you babes and that you have so much to work through on many levels, the end will be worth it baby, love you my sweet angel. xxx
The whole thing is exciting, seeing and experiencing the new you is just so fulfilling. I wake up thinking about you baby, I have this warm glow in my heart, just feel much love for you honey, just want to reach out and hold you in a warm embrace and tenderly kiss your lips, whispering that I love you in your ear with my most sexy voice that I can master, that you have repeatedly told me you like. :)))))))))))))))))))))))
Love you baby.”
To All Men of the World…
Tell any woman that she is irrational and she will fight you tooth and nail to prove that she is not irrational and in that explanation to try to prove she is not irrational you will witness much much more irrationality and you will be confused senseless! But if, like the male bald eagle, you just catch the twigs, by fully letting her communicate to you about whatever is going on with her, without judgement, you will help her to see. Because there is so much going on in her mind at the same time, biologically, this is not her fault, me thinks, in time she will learn to observe and streamline and separate issues.
With time and patience she learns to get a handle of the many ideas going on in there and with much more practice she will learn to fully express her needs in the straightforward way that you will understand. She will in-turn get to the core of her true nurturing beingness and a torrent of love and respect will flow to you, all you will need to do is scoop it up and enjoy. The thrill of watching her grow through your patience is priceless! This is the correct way to love your wife or girlfriend. This is the true love test.
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