True Love Test

True Love Test

Spot the true love test, it’s much much more than meets the eye.


Most men find women complex. They think women are irrational and this is a major,  major cause of relationship break ups.  Actually, unbeknownst to most, this is where the majority of relationship break ups begin.

I have come to know that there is a reason for that seeming irrationality and that there is something that men can do about it . It is actually part of the process of choosing a partner and a great gift to help to create a nurturing space for both the couple and their offspring.  This is the true love test.

When a couple sees the change through the correct sequence of their relationship unfolding, it does something to them. It changes them in a priceless way that I haven’t found how to put into words.  I am going to explain it using a real dialogue between a couple who found a solution to this challenge.

How did he feel about her change? She wanted to know because she felt it was important. She thought her change revealed a profound and hidden mystery to what people think is a problem, regarding how irrational women seem to be. She was right – as I later discovered! She was watching it all through her relationship’s unfolding and wanted to see and know if he felt it too.

His response did not disappoint and here is the unfolding mystery for you to behold too. It will become a most important factor in your ability to thrive in a relationship.

For years I have often wondered why the Bible teaches that “husbands love your wives.” It struck me as odd.  I thought it was a contradiction.  Women are always on about love much more than men and that made me think the suggestion should be “Women love your husbands” because naturally women are about love. So why did the Bible put it the other way around? I guess this is what is called thinking outside the box. God does think outside the box for sure.

In our human world, women are always advised to love their husbands in the exact same way the bible advises husbands to do instead. Time for some observation.  My mother and aunties taught me that it is my responsibility to love a husband and children.  I also know that most people in  the world have this view.  Who is right? My mum or The Almighty? Hierarchy says the answer is, The Almighty.”  But we always have niggling doubts till we have concrete evidence is it not?

And so the Bible says husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands. A really tough one in most relationships as we never really have proper instructions on how to achieve this and must learn on the job as it were.  We actually never work it out even then.

What is the purpose of a woman’s seeming irrationality? It seems so common, almost experienced by every woman, we all hear the comment, “women are irrational”.  We can also come to the conclusion that it comes as a natural part of a woman, because if it weren’t we wouldn’t have it so common.  That means there is a reason why Nature put it in place. I am sure that  all relationships will tremendously benefit from a true understanding of the ‘why’ and so I beg you, please do pay attention.


I am going to add the full Bible instruction to men here so we all have a true concept of what it says. I do realize that I have  used the Bible and I am aware that some of you may not like the idea of being instructed from a bible because your belief system is different. On a more subtle level this is really not about the Bible because as you shall see, this will correspond with what happens with humanity in general regardless of religious beliefs. It even happens to the birds. Therefore even though I am using the Bible I am inclined to think that this is about a universal law of relationships. Take this tip and watch your own relationship soar.





Here is what the bible teaches:-

Ephesians 25-33


25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the
washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself
as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,
but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love
their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care
for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members
of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ
and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as
he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.


A woman describes her wrestle with the seeming unreasonableness that goes on in her and how, as a couple, their eyes were opened to the mystery. Note that Ephesians 32 above says “This is a profound mystery”. So bear this in mind as you read on. Let us unravel this mystery…



Here is what she says:-

It has always been a conflict in my mind and I have always wondered why it has been so difficult to just love a man. I know I love him but I wrestle with so many questions, evaluations and ideas that come to mind and always seem stronger than just loving him in a simple straightforward way. He wants me to stop being irrational! What is rationally loving him? Is it to have one focused thought directed at him?


Ask any man and he will tell you how hard it is to keep up with what goes on in a woman’s mind, but to her, and in her mind everything follows a certain logic. It is just that it is so hard, such a challenge, to simply love a man without those many other thoughts occurring at the same time. Irrational?


What we call irrationality is just a fact of creation for a reason. What is the reason?


Unraveling it is the hard part for humanity. Instead,  a woman’s seeming irrationality is ridiculed and handled by trying to suppress it by both men and women. That suppression is an attempt that shuts down the priceless gift of a woman’s true love for her husband and children!  Has anyone ever watched the movie, ‘the taming of the shrew?


“We have just unraveled that gift Sweets,” the lady excitedly tells her husband!

Here is a glimpse of how nature teaches this concept as demonstrated by a bird of prey:


How a bald eagle chooses a mate for life.

The actions of the female bald eagle may seem irrational to an observer.


(As told by the Wintu Tribal Elders of California)

When it comes time for the female Eagle to choose her mate, she prepares herself for many suitors. And many come before her. She looks them over quite well and then picks one to fly with for awhile.

If she likes the way he flies she finds a small stick, picks it up and flies high with it. At some point she will drop the stick to see if the male can catch it. If he does, then she finds a larger stick and flies with it much higher this time. Each time the male catches the sticks, she continues to pick up larger and larger sticks. When she finds the largest, heaviest stick that she herself can carry, the stick is at this point almost the size of a small log! But she can still fly very high with this large stick.

At any time in this process, if the male fails to catch the stick, she flies away from him as her signal that the test is now over. She begins her search all over again. And when she again finds a male she is interested in, she starts testing him in the exact same way. And she will continue this “testing” until she finds the male Eagle who can catch all the sticks. And when she does, she chooses him, and will mate with him for life.

One of the reasons for this test is that at some point they will build a nest together high up and will then have their eaglets. When the babies begin to learn to fly, they sometimes fall instead. It is then that the male must catch his young. And he does!” (this article was obtained from


The true love test

Like the eagle that must drop a twig over and over and over again, a couple’s gift to start on the right foot is through her seeming irrationality as will be evidenced by the story of the couple below.




Here is what she writes to her husband and here too you will find his response…

(The wife to the husband) Hi Sexy Sweets! xo xo

“I guess the man’s love must conquer and he will have a different or rather a new woman who really loves and adores him. Your very unassuming and patient loving ways tamed my womanly irrational side. This is what I have observed.”


(The husband to the wife) Hey delectable Bunny xo xo!

True, that is what has happened and it will take some time to work through it all, a very complex thing indeed. It happens on so many different levels, all at the same time. It is physical, sexual and spiritual all rolled into one. This is massive really, I think.  Divulging The Secret, is only one part of it, a sort of one sided sexual part when in fact it is a two sided coin. Many men do not understand male sexuality let alone female sexuality. Many females do not understand their own sexuality let alone male sexuality.

When two partners connect on that level of giving and sharing energies then a bond and connection is created that leads each to grow, it is one aspect of the connection. Leading on from here there is a connection on a spiritual level where two become one. There is such a long lead in the process for this to occur, many do not get out of the first gear before they stall the car :)))))))))))))))))))))) then this leads to them separating.

When one partner understands the wisdom, they can lead the other. In your irrational moments you pushed but I did not take the bait, even when you pushed very hard, I still did not respond in that way. I am loving my wife, I understand your irrationality. In this mode you are pushing to find a partner that will be patient, give you love, protect you and create a nest with which you can feel comfortable and safe. The woman looks to the man to provide these qualities, in doing so she must push hard, sometimes for no apparent reason, like the eagle who must find a twig, only to drop it for the male eagle to catch, again and again.

She does not even understand it herself most of the time. She often wonders why she loses it most of the time. But it is just a gift from nature. Yes, I know that most people will not see it this way but her seeming irrationality is a priceless gift from nature to help us to attain an exquisite loving space within our relationship.

A woman has a real sequence of flow of thought that will make her irrationality understandable if she were to explain exactly her trend of thought at the time she is being called irrational. When a man is patient or encourages real dialogue, the conditions of trust are met and the woman will trust him with her emotions. Her love for him begins to unfold. She will also desire for that man to impregnate her. It is a dance where two souls come together to create that future state of true connection. The dance starts with the female’s seeming unreasonableness or irrationality.

He must exercise patience as he must learn to be patient with the children. A man’s voice and strength are great and his physical power greater and he needs to tame them when it comes to his wife and children, so that he can create and lead a family and a warm home. The woman’s seeming irrationality which truly is not, is what nature put in place as training for him. He must look at his wife’s irrationality with amusement and fondness. The same Bible instructs that fathers must not raise their children to anger… This is the training – right before any children appear on the scene.

In King James’ version, Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

A man can only do this through cultivating patience well before the children arrive on the scene. The woman inherently holds the code of wisdom of carnate love and passes it to her partner as she tries him with all her seeming irrationality, she begins to respect him in time from his show of patience. The whole idea of her irrationality is to help him to learn to nurture as this is not  prepacked within him, and yet this is a requirement for him as a father. She already has this side within her as she must nurture the pregnancy, the relationship as well as the children but this will only happen when he shows patience in his love for her. This is the reason why the bible has it as the commandment to him and not her. A slight disturbance to this balance in marriage and the children get it too. It is so precise.

Even though she is naturally nurturing this aspect of her must be unlocked through the man’s love and patience. And so it is extremely important that the man be patient and this leads to his own ability to nurture his wife who will in-turn adore him endlessly.  When he is observing her irrationality he is actually looking at his door to her true loving nature. He has to unlock that door.


Their relationship will finally grow and flourish because they finally meet each other’s needs. Almost all couples don’t go past this door and so most men NEVER experience true love from a woman. They judge her seeming irrationality and never find the key to her heart. This means that most relationships NEVER really take off and couples usually just experience the mechanical side to love.

She wants love and he wants respect and the starting point is a look at and gentle handling of her seeming irrationality. This is where all couples should begin.  He must lovingly accommodate her irrationality.  It is not just all about sex, that is the kindergarten stuff. From here the couple will develop a strong spiritual relationship of which sex plays a part but the melding of their souls is far more potent. As he exercises patience, so does the process of melding occur.


When Christ spoke of his love for the church he was also speaking of the love for the woman from which all creation comes, this is symbolic, he gave up his freedom for the love of the soul connection, just like two partners who come together, give up their individuality to form one bond, first on that carnate level and then on the spiritual level. When we speak of the husband loving his wife it means that the man brings that understanding of his wife’s demeanor, her frailty, we are talking on a very inner level because there are many physically strong women out there. We are talking more on that inner hard wired level.

When wisdom is entered into, it changes everything on many different levels. Folks talk about reincarnation but yet only delve into the very top layers. When wisdom is obtained, one can remember and relate in many different ways and levels simultaneously.  It is that saying that we are without thought or creation, knowledge comes with our soul, it is just a matter of remembering. So does a man always be a man or a woman always be a woman with the wisdom and knowledge that become clear and in doing so we can relate on many levels. The key in a relationship is her seeming irrationality.


Therefore, man love your wives and wives respect your husbands as I have loved you without request. l have loved the church without request, in doing so love becomes pure and undemanding yet in doing so it brings clarity of thought and strength.



The Wind and The Rush plant

When confronted with conflict or challenge as the wife becomes irrational, as I have loved you my dearest bunny, that challenge washed over us, it did not impact negatively, like the rush bending in the wind it returns to its natural position. Love as I have loved you and in-turn been loved and respected by you, I returned to that default position. Confrontation wants to break the rush but the rush only bends.


valentines day and gifts


For you Sweets, are the wind that wants to break the rush yet it is not in the nature of the rush to break, it merely mirrors your endeavors and then returns to its natural position. Today we entered a place where you said that I could take you and do what I want with you. That in my patience I have created a warmth in you that will receive me always. In that moment you became the rush and I the wind. When that energy subsides I become the rush and once again you become the wind, each of us plays their part in stabilizing the other. There is nothing happening, at the end of the day we are one at harmonies door.

There will be unsteady days ahead but it is always a case of the wind and the rush. In our sexuality I am the wind and you are the rush. In our day to day life together you are the wind and I am the rush. But I notice that with my patience you have changed to become such an adorable sweet bunny Sweets. Like water you are finding your level; you are finding the ability to express your thoughts well and calmly, which is a far cry from that irrationality.


Irrationality is actually Not Irrationality


I have come to know that your seeming irrationality is actually not irrationality at all.  A woman has a wider corpus callosum and that probably accounts for that much information whirling in her mind, but language cannot catch up with how much information is being communicated in thought and so at times one uttered statement represents many different thoughts making no sense to me. Only you understand the thoughts at the time. All I get is disjointed thoughts that do not make much sense to me, and to me it is just being irrational. From letting myself fully communicate with you, with a lot of patience, you have gone back and looked and explained things a bit more and from this I have come to understand how you roll and I love you delectable sweets, with all your irrationality. :))))


We are together, I bring you love, we created love, that purpose has created a union, my love helps you to pass that irrational energy to the void, we are creating something new, a connection of two souls in such a bond of love that a new energy is created almost like giving birth. It is the one beyond the feeling of sexuality, beyond even love, it has its own life and life force which grows on a daily basis. But to relinquish our seeming conflicts, which to me seem to come from your seeming irrationality I must always cultivate patience and  gently love you through it all and in this I create a special place for me in you, to be received by you in the way I desire you and you accept my advances cooing like a dove. Darling, I love you.


In the beginning, I sat and waited, still you pushed, I let you lay in your angst and irrationality, then drew you back into the love that was always there and in doing so the husband that I am was loving his wife, giving her nourishment and nurturing, in doing so your desire to be impregnated by your husband was ignited and that means in my patience and unconditional giving, your subconscious, designed by nature, then knew and accepted me as your true partner. And as I have said before, we entered a place you said that I could take you and do what I wanted with you. In that moment you truly surrendered to our love. Thank you darling.


If folks understood this process, there would be so many new beginnings, relationship failure would be obsolete :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


This is a bit heavy I know, I am not really aware of what I am writing about baby, I am just writing, you probably think I have gone completely kookoo. My love for you will always be as it always was, my love is and will always be for all things.

I Am Become Anew!

The most rewarding gift of all in this is that my patience with you has created a new man within me…

Part of my manly urges is to take you and make you mine, to make you yield and surrender to me, to create in you a need that I can fill and sustain and part of me just wants to protect and nurture you so we can both grow together, just to hold you in that loving embrace.

I have awoken a dormant side in you, even that will be hard to get too good with. Love is such a strange creature baby. I just feel such a deep love for you honey, my desire is to feed and nurture that love, to cradle you and wrap you in its loving care. I realize that this may still be so new to you babes and that you have so much to work through on many levels, the end will be worth it baby, love you my sweet angel. xxx

The whole thing is exciting, seeing and experiencing the new you is just so fulfilling. I wake up thinking about you baby, I have this warm glow in my heart, just feel much love for you honey, just want to reach out and hold you in a warm embrace and tenderly kiss your lips, whispering that I love you in your ear with my most sexy voice that I can master, that you have repeatedly told me you like. :)))))))))))))))))))))))

Love you baby.”



To All Men of the World…

Tell any woman that she is irrational and she will fight you tooth and nail to prove that she is not irrational and in that explanation to try to prove she is not irrational you will witness much much more irrationality and you will be confused senseless! But if, like the male bald eagle, you just catch the twigs, by fully letting her communicate to you about whatever is going on with her, without judgement, you will help her to see. Because there is so  much going on in her mind at the same time, biologically, this is not her fault, me thinks, in time she will learn to observe and streamline and separate issues.

With time and patience she learns to get a handle of the many ideas going on in there and with much more practice she will learn to fully express her needs in the straightforward way that you will understand. She will in-turn get to the core of her true nurturing beingness and a torrent of love and respect will flow to you, all you will need to do is scoop it up and enjoy. The thrill of watching her grow through your patience is priceless! This is the correct way to love your wife or girlfriend. This is the true love test.

For those who wish to have a continuation of the trend of thought expressed here and much more, if you wish to have an exquisite relationship such as this one,  please subscribe and get information that will help you to create a lifetime of joy. There is a way, all mapped out for you. Give yourself and your better half a gift that will change your relationship forever – subscribe to the exquisite relationship club membership. It’s only $5.95 a month.  Please click on the PayPal button below to subscribe.

14 thoughts on “True Love Test

  1. Good afternoon Danielle,

    I am an animal lover, be they tiny or big. That, of course, made me love this story of the female eagle. Here in Spain, it is an endangered species and luckily we humans have realized it is high time to do something.
    Looking back at one’s life one hopefully sees the why’s and how’s of things, including all the relationships which have crossed our path. Some of which accompanied us for a longer part of our journey.
    The many special things I saw in my partner form a long list. Being on the same wavelength on so many things was good. There is one thing he mentioned straight from the beginning, something nobody had ever said to me before, we are equal, I found and still find this amazing.
    Now, some 2 years later his actions have confirmed those words spoken at our beginning. I think I am a lucky girl.
    Ah, I have just asked him but he does not think I am irrational.
    A great website which for sure will help many people in need.

    Regards, Taetske

    • Hello Taetske

      Thank you for taking the time to give us a visit. You are one lucky girl. Your relationship sounds absolutely wonderful. It is a strong and just man who can say to their other half that “we are equal” and top it off with keeping his word. For most couples it’s a tag of war.

      A truly loved woman is not irrational. She finds her balance and so have you. :)))) I have a lovely man, I could never ask for more.

      The story of the bald eagle’s way is a fascinating one. I have learned loads from observing animals.

      Thank you for your feedback about this being a great website. It makes the effort of putting it together worthwhile, especially to help many people in need.



  2. Interesting article… I also think human behavior, and particularly the differences between men and women to be fascinating. I think we really do have completely different types of brains. I actually believe God made us this way to help us grow as human beings. Those of us who are heterosexual have to learn to live and thrive with someone who has a brain that is opposite to ours in many respects. I think it’s a way for us to learn to step outside ourselves and stretch the boundaries of our own tolerance and understanding, so to speak… thanks for an interesting read!

    • Hello Emmally

      Thank you for passing by. I totally agree with you. Relationships teach us to stretch the boundaries of our own tolerance and understanding. This is challenging and is the true love test. Whilst at the onset men have to be tolerant, soon the roles change as the relationship matures and women have to be tolerant too. This is easier said than done but those couples who will get this, will have happiness mapped out for them.

      Thank you for your visit. Please do come back again for more interesting articles. It is lovely to connect and it makes the purpose all this worthwhile.


  3. Very very deep interesting and thought provoking. I am a Christian husband of 6 years now. I have a lot of experience in this dance of the man and the women from a Biblical standpoint. But at the sametime a every day practical way. Which never takes away from the Biblical stand point in my opinion

    I will be honest. I agree in this way. I think of my wife all the time and say ” You don’t live in the real world ” While me and my son are struggling in it. This has been my story with her for all 6 years.

    We are on our way to divorce. Not because I don’t love her enough. I have tried my best. But because she has failed to respect God and me or anything in life. Bringing much pain into an otherwise great thing called marriage. If she would of tried or loved me as half as I have her we would not be here.

    Even God says you know what. Here is my card. Call me when you are serious about a relationship with me. You know where to find me. Painfully I am there with her.

    Long story short. God showed me at the alter that she does not want to be married. Me getting a divorce from what I see as a black hole of a person messes up some people’s theology. That is fine so did JESUS. But I know God does not condone abuse. She has abused her powerful and important blessed position serially.

    Although we do have love test as men.I agree and love is not easy. I agree. But what women cannot do is push push push push push men so much and say. Hey see this scripture. You have to follow it. Now love me.Nothing in the world works like that including our relationship with GOD….CHRIST.

    But I agree we as mend have love test. Very astute. But don’t make the mountain so high that we say it is impossible to climb. I have better things to do. Marriage is supposed to be a blessing. Not a task.

    I know I said alot :). What would you say on that? Do women push to much?

    • Yes, women push too much, it is a hard wired thing. Men push too, only they probably don’t see it as pushing or realize they push push push women to the limit too.

      Unless a man opens himself to fully communicate with the woman in his life, the road is rather stiff because it is so complex, so complex, but getting to the bottom of this complexity is easy and opens a whole new world of exquisite love. It can only be unravelled by real communication and nothing else.

      The more a woman feels taken for granted or that her requests are put aside or ignored the more she pushes. Men seemingly ignore requests because they supposedly don’t think much about it. Trust me, even the most clued in man will have a challenge with this.

      Here is an example…

      She asks you to look under the sink for that leak and you promise to look later because you are at home and want to relax a bit or to take your time. After all you are in your house and you have the time. The lady next door comes with a similar request on the same day and off you rush to have a look. This is because it’s hard to say no to the woman next door… but…

      At the end of the day your wife still has the leak and the woman next door is delighted from your efforts. Had you looked just when she asked instead of putting it off for later you would have not had this problem. In the end she probably spends the whole week begging you to look at the leak when for the neighbour it takes just one word.

      It doesn’t matter how you want to look at it, at the end of the day she knows you will attend to other people first. Do you think you will be special to your wife in her heart or all she will feel is like she comes second place in your life?

      Believe me men do this all the time albeit without realizing the implications to the wife’s love eventually. Sometimes the request is completely forgotten. What happens to her love for her husband? When she has to ask for help from her husband, does it come easy in her heart or she dreads the horrible cycle? Being married to you she can’t go looking for men to come into your house to help her… Who does she turn to for that loving help?

      Slowly her gentle love is dying and giving birth to the push because it’s now coming from a position of pain.

      This happens in so many different scenarios in a relationship. A husband or boyfriend always seems to take on other people’s requests more aptly and with much more eagerness than their wife or girlfriend’s requests.

      She won’t complain about it because it comes across as jealousy. So it’s buried and compounds over the years. This is when her push comes across so strong. For everything, she will push and push and push because somewhere at the back of her mind she knows her requests are usually set aside for a while and in some cases forever. Men do not even realize it when they are breaking their loved one’s heart. It just painfully, slowly breaks. A woman’s heart is broken nearly every day. Men usually don’t pick on this.

      EVERY woman in a long term relationship has a complaint about how the man in her life looks after other people’s needs other than hers and that when she is working hard it’s for the whole family including the man himself.

      Women sometimes don’t fully express how they feel unless they feel their man will understand. When they doubt that the man will understand, they become irrational. Her communication about most issues become less straightforward.

      In her mind, she is asking for help for the family and yet she sees her husband ignoring it or putting it aside. Men seem to take the women in their life for granted most of the time. This is a HUGE complaint with most women. And because the communication about this is a bit warped or non existent at all it compounds over the years till resentment spills into the whole environment. She just about hates everything about her life. She feels totally unloved and therefore she cannot give any love to anyone in her environment.

      Women push men in their speech and men push women in their actions. She comes across as a nag and he comes across as a man who never seems to want to help her or be there for her except for other people and yet she feels her efforts are for the whole family.

      Men will sing praises for the hard working woman next door whilst ignoring the same hard working efforts and pleas for help from their own wife. This is what I mean by men push push push with their action.

      There is always that hidden wall of pain that only full communication will unravel. For every push there is pain. So push push push push means loads of pain. She is very fragile inside actually. Exactly the opposite of what you see right there. Unravel that pain and you will get to the loving wife that you are looking for.

      If you don’t mind… please, before you go through with that divorce, ask your wife, genuinely and gently what her pain is. Let her express herself fully. You might see something you haven’t seen before. 6 years is a long time. I believe this pain starts right at the onset of a relationship. Most people will not believe this but it is true. So you are looking at uncommunicated pain that has accumulated over a period of 6 years.

      Give it a go. You don’t even have to put it across as a serious discussion. Just gently go to her and ask her to communicate her pain to you. She might not even remember where or how it started but just let her talk even if it sounds irrational. Let her trust you with what’s going on in her mind. Over time, with your gentleness and tolerance she will come round and you will have a very loving, gentle wife. Guaranteed. It all rests on your tolerance and full communication.

      Having said this, please do not take it personal. There is so much that has happened with relationships over the millennia that it will take loads of tolerance to get it right.

      I explain most of why this is within the paid membership cycles because it is too long to cover here.

      Good luck.


      • Hello again. I have been so very thinking about this and I had to come back . But only when I was ready to give the time to respond.

        This is such an emotional thing for me I had to be in the right mind before I came back. Now I am!!!

        You are making a common mistake that many women do. You are fighting for all the women of the world. When the fact is there are some deadbeat women that you cannot defend. NOR do I hope you would.

        Same with men. The men you speak off… Shame on them. A women is a beautiful gift from GOD. A biblical man or any good man in my opinion would not do this. Faith or no faith.

        I have a lot of ways to approach this conversation. So many that I am like….. Which weapon do I pick. Hard to know I have so many great ones. So I will start here.

        Proverbs 18:9 A lazy person is as bad as
        someone who destroys things.

        We must use wisdom in our relationships. There is NO relationship that will work if you have a person who does not put the required work in it.

        I have been carrying my marriage for almost 7 years now. I have been married… You got it almost 7 years now.

        The first sermon we heard at church. MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK . LOL. What are the odds? You cannot be married alone with a Deadbeat.

        She told me when we first got married. ” I thought you were going to do everything so I relied on you” That is the opposite of the scenario that you gave above. Many people think they know what is going on when GOD has not giving them incite.

        Ahhh But he has giving me much incite. GOD showed me at the altar that she did not want to be married in a vision. I was AFRAID…. What she does not want to be married. Then the vision went away . I was looking in her face when I saw it and it went away.

        Like a movie scene. Well GOD was showing me what she was going to do. She did not want a relationship. She wanted a slave. She wanted to do as little as possible but be married. Not possible. I have needs and One person with serious needs health and mental… turned out to be spiritual.. See my website… I needed a Helpmeet. NOT a Jezebel enemy.

        You cannot be married to your enemy. You have NO chance to survive with an enemy in your camp with such a powerful enemy.

        You cannot imagine how deadbeat she is. But go to my website and see what I am dealing with spiritually.

        Many people have no idea what I am dealing with. I have just gotten over the shock. But going back to the scripture in Proverbs.

        She has done much damage with her Pride and her Laziness . I have a son. I have to raise him. And I have to get healthy mentally and physically.
        Not fight my wife. She is supposed to be my help. Not my enemy. SHES FIRED .

        Church people are so out of touch with GOD. Smh. Not personal to you but if Church people and Pastors are not careful you will be a Pharisee. All you see is laws but you care not about the burden that you put on people.
        You miss the intent and love of GOD. Ohhhh I will share some things with you. This is for others not for me. I am fighting for people who are being abused in marriages but their spouse has not cheated… As far as they know.
        GOD does not ordain abuse. That is not what marriage is for. If you are getting abused. You need to leave the situation. Not healthy emotionally physically or spiritually .

        I did not mean to go in so much. But I am very emotional about this. Very passionate. And the church and Pastors have been SOOOO not a help but a hinderance most of the time.

        • Hi Cedric,

          It took me sometime to come back to your comment. I hear you, honestly I do. And you are right, it is not possible to defend all women.

          Our lives are so complex and it can be difficult to find that working solution within marriage it is a relationship that needs nurturing. For many, it is only a relationship between two people. For couples that have faith then the relationship is expanded to include God. When children come along even more so. For a relationship to flourish and grow it needs to be inclusive. In being like this each individual can grow both in their relationship with God but also with each other. When it is not inclusive, then problems start to arise.

          If we dig under the surface we do not have to look very far, a lot of interpersonal issues arise from how we communicate and when it is between a couple it probably has more to do with what is not being said as opposed as to what is said. This mainly comes back to how each partner handles and resolves conflict.

          Much of our on the job training is learned from our individual family experiences. When we enter into the partnership of marriage we bring our individual conflict resolution behaviours with us. Over time couples learn how to resolve issues and grow or they just come together and continue with the same learned behavior patterns.

          If I sit here and be completely honest woman can just push you and push you and likewise men can infuriate women mainly because they find the women’s world just hard understand.

          I know a Christian couple married for fifty years, someone asked the husband the secret recipe for their success and he said,

          ” God is at the center stage in our relationship, I make all the very important decisions in this relationship and my wife makes all the important decisions, over the years there have not been any very important decisions ”

          Very striking and it says a lot.

          It is about working out the ebb and flow within a relationship, it is about the man giving to his wife, the wife receiving and it is about the woman giving to her husband and him receiving in like nature. It is about nurturing the relationship, letting it flow. Nothing in life is plain sailing, it is all about how we learn to navigate the storms that come our way, it is about learning how to accommodate each other and in turn nurturing our relationship with God. It is a partnership in the true sense of the word.

          Unfortunately even though in a world of equals we are hard wired at the end of the day that the world looks to the man to provide leadership and nurturing for his wife and family that is how it has been forever. It can be so hard to find ways to bridge the gaps as they appear especially in that we do not have the skills to do so,because usually we just learn about marriage on the job, it is about finding the blockage.

          True, open communication is the best way forward I think. sitting down with a third neutral person to facilitate commonication between you will help. If you can’t trust anyone here is another good one. Write to each other and express fully what your grievances are. Don’t go confrontational in person as this will not help. Just write to each other about everything and keep talking till you get to the bottom of what is troubling you. Meantime when you see each other in person practice gentleness towards each other. This usually works and you resolve your problems without engaging a third party and also without being personally confrontational with each other. Try this, please?

          Your wife will have issues that men at times do not see, in your manly vision you see problems and it is in man’s nature to find solutions that are man’s inner nature, he can not escape that, it is a case of becoming aware in the beginning, I believe things start right at the beginning with miscommunication.

          When we sense that things are not right rather than fighting, sometimes it helps just to listen,men may not have to find a solution but just to hear with their heart and eyes and not ears. The solution will be revealed in the process, it is about creating a loving space where she will be blessed in her own confessions as she feels she has the loving space to just talk.

          I read in your comment that your relationship includes God, you, your son, excluding your wife who is not performing. When things are not as they should be and the energy is strained it is about becoming aware and building bridges in order to create that space. You are more aware of God’s presence and I would like to say that you will be more the one able to create that loving space through speaking to God. God will then show you what to do next. You are right in saying other people are not doing much help. Sometimes it is between the husband and God first for guidance on how he can lead his family.

          We all encounter issues, with relationships it is not so much what we do ” with the how we ended up in the situation that we are in ” it is all about what we do to effect the change that is needed to create that loving space where all can grow within the relationship.

          Embrace her in your prayers without any judgement. Earnestly speak to God as you usually do. Bless her no matter what and open the true dialogue with her through writing if possible.

          Just some thoughts may you be blessed as you move forward.


  4. This is such an interesting article. Particularly enjoyed the analogy of the femal eagle choosing her mate. That stick test is really not for the weak! The true love test for sure. lol! I agree that in all partnerships there needs to be giving and sharing. Thanks for an insightful piece. I look forward to more articles from you. 🙂

    • Hi Lily

      Thank you for coming to our website.

      I dare say, I find the article interesting too. The true love test with the seeming irrationality is not for the weak either. Most don’t find that love and warm haven for lack of patience.

      We will be posting more interesting articles but better still the forum has much more.

      See you some more around here


  5. I honestly know very little about women, besides having grown up with four sisters. My mom was a stay at home mom. Being a man I can say that in some ways while never actually using the word irrational I did in a sense think that women are seemingly irrational. The post is a very long one and a very complex one. However being a complex person I’m very impressed how well written this is.

    It’s not often I find a well written article or one that delves so deeply into the mystery of such things. The references were very necessary and absorbing. Thanks for such an insightful well written post that goes deep into the great mystery of women and their seeming irrationality. This may benefit me as well as the many others who come to read it for years to come.

    • Hello Jose

      Thank you for your visit.

      You have been around your mom and sisters and observed much I guess. The complexity becomes much more when you meet the one. lol! I have often come across titles on internet that had a lot of promise but were a disappointment with regards to their content and so I decided that whatever I choose to put out there must have enough substance to give real value. Thank you for appreciating it.

      Most relationships fail because people are looking at solutions in the wrong places. It is complex. Solutions are outside the box. We have lost the true way to happy relationships along the way. Women don’t understand men too. It probably was by design at some point but in the eras that followed the wisdom of happy relationships was lost.

      Thank you for the appreciation that you have for depth of understanding. Hoping to see you within the exclusive paid membership club where deeper relationship wisdom is shared.


  6. I am intrigued and mesmerized by your website. I think I read every word! I have always been the one trying to figure out why people act the way they do, especially in relationships. I have always been fascinated by human behavior and how it compares to other animal behavior and the female eagle and her irrational behavior is awesome. I could type for hours on this subject. Kudos for a great idea, I hope it all works out for you.

    • Thank you Donna.

      Human behaviour fascinates me and I can never observe it enough. I feel so grateful to meet like minded people like you. Thank you for passing by. I have loads of unique content to add on here. It’s a matter of time. Most of it will be for the paid membership members though. I decided to create the paid membership to do away with all those robots and create true value.

      Thank you for taking the time to leave a such an awesome comment. It makes me feel that my purpose is really worth while and I will continue to give value.

      Thank you


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