I am so excited to be writing a series of five articles that will help couples to effectively manage the barriers for effective communication. Relationships build resentment over the years due to communication going wrong. An ability to manage communication cycles mean a definite happy and healthy relationship.
Here is the list of the five articles that will cover this series all under the barriers for effective communication issues.
Getting the exact meaning of a communication, a lack of which creates so many problems for the couple.
Incomplete communication and Upsets
Nature’s creative energy and how it aids or affects our communication.
How to deliver effective communication
We all dream of permanently loving and ever fresh relationships, full of joy. When we waltz into a relationship, most of us have no idea of the complexities or advantages of communication. We don’t even know we have to move through tough communication hurdles to get to where relationship nuggets are. We arrive at the door of being in a relationship, crash through it, start kissing and cuddling and everything else and assume everything else will be hunky-dory until we resent each other so much and there is very little of the fondness, kissing, cuddling and talking to each other that was at the beginning of the relationship.
There are lots of barriers for effective communication, some quite simple and others much more complex. You can ask someone a simple question and instead of answering the question they will go into a lot of things that have nothing to do with what has been asked. This is quite hard in relationships. It is true that fully communicating in a relationship is the key. It is easy to see this as the solution to a couple’s problems and it is also really easy for most to give this as the solution but honestly, communication between two people, especially in a relationship, is tough. It is the toughest thing a couple has to conquer before they can have a healthy relationship.
What do you do when you broach a subject and you get a rebuff or one word answers or the conversation goes on a little bit but creates misunderstandings and one partner gets short with the other? What do you do when communicating becomes difficult? I will tell you what most people do… they let sleeping dogs lie. Wrong decision. Those dogs are not sleeping, they will soon reproduce and have a litter of puppies that bark at you so much you will regret ever having let them lie!
Most people get excited at the idea that communication is what should happen in a relationship and their picture to that communication is totally different from what it is in practice. They see and think of communication as something light, agreeable and pleasant, that only includes things they can take on board. Partly this is true. Just partly. Real communication is about fully communicating.
Is it possible to fully communicate? Can people take what comes with full communication? Fear of rejection or loss of love is probably the biggest of all the barriers for effective communication in a relationship and yet the opposite is true. Full communication that includes unpleasant things eventually lifts or dissipates unwanted energy and clears the way for love and respect and a bond that gives birth to unconditional love. If a couple can remove that fear of rejection by reassuring each other that they will communicate about things in a space of total acceptance without judgement and allow each other to express fully what they go through and then giving them space to bounce back to the positive self there will be a totally different outcome, even if the listener says nothing except listen. You will soon understand more why this is. A lot of patience is required here.
Communication between couples is the most difficult because it is about taking two individual worlds and getting each to properly understand the other’s meaning and then making the decision of the end result as one to bring an idea into vibration and then acting on it to make it work. This is where all problems in a relationship lie. Solving this and being willing to take the cumbersome cycle of this form of communicating will produce a blissful relationship. It won’t always be hard. It is hard at the beginning but as the couple understand each other more they find that upsets get less and when they come up they get handled quickly.
How does a partner choose to accept communication of love and not communication about an upset. When something is upsetting to another they are bound to express it in an upset way just like when they are loving they express the emotion in a loving way? Is this not to be expected? Why is it so difficult for people to accept communication of all emotions except love? It is the inability to face or just quietly observe the unpleasant parts of communication that causes a rift and the complete breakdown of a relationship. Anything not fully communicated or suppressed is a birth of a problem, there will be so many unsaid things, causing loads of assumptions, judgments and resentments over the years. It is also the thing that makes relationships stale.
Anybody who is allowed to express how they feel always bounces back to their positive self. Full expression is a healing process, a therapeutic one too. Even the bible says something about it; James 5:16 says “Confess your sins one to another and pray for one another so that you may be healed.” I know that these days sin and confession are words translated differently from what they meant then but really it just means in communication is a process of healing. ” The word “confess” is the Greek word ekzomologeo, a word that means to declare, to say out loud, to exclaim, to divulge, or to blurt. ” This following article continues to explain this special concept. A full understanding of it will amaze you. Click here for the amazing article.